IF Seal: As a young writer, I'm worried about getting started
hello, if seal :)
I guess I just needed to talk to someone to get this off my chest.
I'm young compared to most of the members of the if community. I really love writing; however, ever since I was a kid, I had this habit of comparing myself to other people. In my schools and classes as a young kid, teachers would grade the "best story" or writing style and this only increased my fear of writing as there was always someone better than me in the end.
There's this story idea I want to make it into an if so bad; however, when I sit down and write some planning or scenes, there's this deep sense of inferiority within me as I fear of how the audience will perceive my writing style. Especially considering how many of the audience members in the community are a lot more older than me, I get afraid that my writing will be perceived "childish" and "immature".
Sometimes this fear makes me run away from my projects and I leave it hanging or barely planned for months on end. Sometimes this fear makes me think "maybe I should improve my writing skill" and, again, I never get to properly finish or start with my projects I want to jot down badly. I know this can come off as "lazy", but I get really scared that my writing is horrendous to people.
I guess my question to this weird ranting is: should I just...put myself out there? Or should I just not?
Dear Fearful Friend,
I very much understand this and I am sure that the majority of experienced writers do as well.
When I was but a seal pup myself, I shared what I wrote and sometimes it had positive reception and sometimes not! When I looked back at it, sometimes I felt terribly embarrassed. But then with further distance, I learned to be kinder towards my younger self and take a great deal of pride in their creativity.
Which is not to say that you will have reached that point now, or that reaching it is easy. But the only way to help yourself feel less anxious about your projects is to practise. You may never feel entirely confident and comfortable, but my advice is to try to embrace writing for yourself first, and then shifting gently into sharing it with others (if you end up wanting to).
I know it is very hard, but comparing your writing to other people's polished work is a tempting but false perspective. We can often be our own worst critics, and we see all the imperfections that others might not - not to mention the fact that everyone else's beautifully polished work was a first draft that the writer gnashed their teeth terribly over.
I wonder if you might enjoy trying to write something small, the IF equivalent of a short story, or even just a scene. Something for yourself, without the pressure of wondering what someone will think. Is there a theme or character idea or something else that grabs you? That might be a good hook for you to make small steps rather than something that feels more overwhelming.
I believe that if you want to share your work, that will be scary but there is also the potential for great enjoyment and satisfaction.
As for writing being immature... well, what is immaturity really? I do not think work from younger writers is necessarily immature, but it is also natural to be inexperienced in writing, and to develop over time. But again, practice is your friend there.
I do not think you are lazy, and I hope you feel confident enough to write something you enjoy!